Today has been a good day. On the whole they mostly are. There have been a few fraught ones recently. I think more down to me than The Boy.
I KNOW more down to me than The Boy. Why has this been? I’ve asked myself this lots.
Answers range from: it’s because I’m tired; or, it’s because I’ve got too much to do; or, it’s because it’s so hard being a parent of a kid with ASD; or, something else.
All of these are true, but they’re excuses. I’ve been making excuses for being irritable, and grumpy, and not very self aware and not getting myself into bed early enough. Not planning, not communicating with the boy calmly and in plenty of time.
The good days are good because The Boy isn’t anxious, because I recognise when he’s overstimulated and help him to calm down, because he feels able to tell me about things that happened at school, because I don’t shout, because I remember to plan and communicate what’s going to happen next when we need to do something. Because I recognise when I’m getting it wrong.
Mostly it’s about being calm and trying not to overreact, but there has to be some bigger picture stuff too. For me, this has been looking at why I’m tired and feel like I never have enough time. The net result is a drop in hours at work and a few less crazy shifts a month. We’re already seeing the benefits – even though there’s less money coming in. Some things are way more important.
So, here’s to more sleep, more time, less meltdowns (from me), more baking together and many more good days.